When I Studied Witchcraft

When I was in my early 20’s and finally living on my own, I developed a fascination with witchcraft - or Wicca, as some do call it. I was also in my goth phase at that time as well so it seemed to work.

I read several different books, including books from, who interested me the most, Silver RavenWolf. She was an ex Catholic too. I read some of her non-fiction books first and wondered how she came up with some of the details of spells and what-not.

Her books were good. I still have two of them. So I ended up buying all of her witchcraft books. From the late ’90s into the early 2000s, I was interested but I didn’t go in halfcocked. Oh no! I wanted to make sure I knew what I was getting into.

You see, I was raised in a strict Roman-Catholic home but I was a member of a Southern Baptist Church. My great-aunt was strict but she disagreed with the Catholic Church at the time, requiring me to attend night classes after school in order to make my first communion. Needless to say, I never did.

Growing up learning from two different (but very similar, even though they try to act like they’re not) sects of the Christian religion, gave me a little more depth I think. It gave me insight and perhaps even allowed my already open mind to be open to others’ different religious beliefs and opinions.

I have always been fascinated by different religions and how they are similar to each other. While the rest of the world focuses on their differences, I was looking at their similarities.

The one thing all of the old religions/faiths have, including Wicca, is to not harm others. To not kill. That seems to be a top rule. What Wicca had though was more freedom. I was always on the search for more freedom.

I’ve always been a bit of a spiritual person but I hate all of the really strict rules of most religions. Those rules are set up to oppress people and I’m not about that life.

So Wicca stepped in at a time when I was looking for something different. Something that would set me free.

I studied it greatly, reading every book I could and learning what it would take to become a part of that pagan religion. I never really practiced it though.

Something always stopped me.

Looking back, I know what stopped me. I am an Agnostic. It took me a long time to recognize that about myself but I am naturally curious. I also question EVERYTHING, even if only to myself.

Another thing that Wicca has in common with other religions is they have a God. Well, the horned God and Goddess. When it comes to God, I question - A LOT. While I don’t necessarily believe in God, I don’t disbelieve either.

I believe in the possibilities of a God or Gods. I mean, what do I know? I’m not an expert. No one is. We don’t know what waits for us after we die. So why would I believe in something that I am not sure exists or not?

Christians - and other religions as well - would argue that it’s not about facts but about faith. However, from personal experience growing up Christian, people tend to take that faith and treat it as facts.

That’s just not me.

Wicca was also asking me to commit to this horned God and Goddess. I had to BELIEVE and COMMIT fully. That stopped me. I questioned. I pondered and weighed the pros and cons.

I have commitment issues, especially when someone is asking me to commit to a belief in a deity that I don’t know exists or not.

So there it is. Two things I am not good at. Belief and Commitment. Two things that stopped me from converting.

I just can’t commit to any sort of belief system that restricts my thoughts and my thought process. I just can’t go into anything blindly believing what I question the existence of.

Yes, it may be a matter of faith. I don’t judge people who have faith. I have seen a person’s faith give them strength. If it helps, then great! Keep doing you. But Faith was never really my thing.

There you have it then. My experience with Witchcraft. Wouldn’t you know it though, years later I ended up giving a few of my old books to my mother, who is now a Wiccan.

I will always have a healthy respect for Witches and their craft. I see them as any other faith in this world. They are just people living their lives to the best of their ability, just like everyone else. If we all respected each other’s different belief systems, I believe we would be a much happier human race.

Thanks so much for reading!