20 Years...And What Have We Learned? A Reflection of 9/11

I started writing this two days ago but have struggled with it. This has been a hard post to write for me as I reflect on that Tragic Day in 2001 and everything that has happened since.

Today, September 11, 2021 marks the 20th Anniversary of THE MOST HORRIFIC NATIONAL DAY of my lifetime. It was a day I will never forget! It is maybe the one day, outside of the birth of my children, that I will ALWAYS remember where I was, what I was doing, who I was with, and what happened after the moment I realized it was real.

That Day For Me...

I was 24 years old, living in Baltimore, MD where I was born and raised. I was living with my then fiancé' Tom, and we were 3 months away from having our first baby. I was in the beginning of my third trimester. I had a pretty healthy pregnancy. I was so happy! We were having a boy and naming him Adam.

I was also working full-time at my old church's daycare center. I had worked there before when I was 18 and came back as a substitute teacher, floating from room to room to help out where ever I could. On the day of September 11th, I was working in the baby room.

At this time in my pregnancy, I was having to go to the bathroom a lot. We were getting ready to take the babies out for a morning walk. It was a beautiful day. Not a cloud in the sky. Children's music was playing as I left the room to go use the restroom.

When I returned I was very surprised to hear a man on the radio talking. The head teacher never put the radio on. It was always children's music or lullabies so I was confused as to what prompted her to put the radio on.

It didn't register at first what was going on. The DJ wasn't playing any music. He was just talking. He said something about a plane crashing into the World Trade Center and I honestly thought he was talking about a movie that was coming out.

I asked one of the women in the room if it was a movie and she said "no, it's really happening." I was taken aback. I couldn't register this information right away. I asked what she meant. She simply said that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center.

Now, anyone who isn't familiar with the next thing I'm about to say, well now you know. I immediately thought she was talking about our World Trade Center. Baltimore has one at the Inner Harbor.

My next thought was "oh wow". Planes do crash from time to time and while I was sad to hear this news I wasn't alarmed really. Not yet.

We thought it was just that - an accident. A tragic accident. We listened for awhile when the guy on the radio started yelling, "Oh my God! The second tower has been hit! Another plane just hit the second tower!"

At that point we all stopped what we were doing. One of the teachers was rocking a baby in the rocker. I was sitting in another rocker with another baby. We were listening so intently to the radio at that moment, I barely registered the daycare director coming into the room.

I also learned that it wasn't the Baltimore World Trade Center but the New York World Trade Center. Shock, confusion, fear all set in for each of us. The director was going to each classroom and talking with the teachers and checking in with everyone.

I don't remember what time it was at this point. What I do know is that it wasn't long after, that we heard the news of another plane hitting the Pentagon. Most of the parents of the children we had at our center worked in D.C.

Even those who didn't work in D.C. though, were coming to pick up their kids. Most people were either leaving work in fear or were sent home because we were all very afraid. We didn't know what this meant. As the parents started coming in, we were learning a little more but only a little. There was still so much confusion.

One of the parents said something about a terrorist attack. Panic started to set in for people. I was sent home as were all of the non-essential staff. Only the head teachers and the Director remained until all of the children were picked up.

I called Tom and he said he saw it on the news. I rushed home and he was already there with his mom, glued to the TV. Within minutes, so was I. I was glued to the TV for a week as the names of the fallen or missing were slowly coming in. By that time we knew of the plane that went down in Pennsylvania, United Flight 93.

The fear of that day set in for every single American but it reached far beyond our borders. It hit the whole world. America was the target but the effects of that day still sit with everyone all over the world who watched those towers burn and fall; watched people on the streets completely covered in soot; heard the screams and the agony of those still alive.

As I saw the names of the dead or missing pop up on the TV screen in the days and weeks after, one person popped up for me. I won't say her name out of respect for her family but she was, like me, 7 months pregnant. She was having her first baby and he was a boy. She and her husband were going to call him Connor (or Conner).

I experienced some Survivor's Remorse because my baby and I got to live. I got to watch my baby grow into the incredible young man he is today at almost 20 years old. She and her baby never got the chance. Five years later I had another son. His name is Conner.

20 years later and that day still sticks with us but our children are learning about it in history class. They know about it but they don't know the fear we felt, the grief and the anger that came after. But we do and we are still in charge today. Yet, what have we learned?

That day changed us. Changed us in ways we never thought possible. But have we learned from it? Truly learned?

So much has changed in the last 20 years. September 11, 2001 brought this country together. A tragedy of enormous magnitude saw people of all colors, religions, social class, genders, etc. come together. That day we were UNITED! We helped each other, looked out for each other. We CARED about each other.

I saw a friend on Facebook post this, in her own words so I'm going to leave it here because it rings so true:

20 years later: We are more divided than ever. We see each other as the enemy, not friends, not neighbors. Rather than simply disagree and move on, we seem determined to fight over every little difference. Vice President Kamala Harris said in her speech that our Diversity is what makes us unique. That it is our strength but I will add that it is only our strength as long as we stand United.

20 years later: We are in the middle of a global pandemic! Once again, the whole world is affected! But we, the United States of America, what are we doing? Who are we? We are anything but UNITED!

Another quote from a family member today, just to make you all think for a minute here:

We will NEVER FORGET THOSE LOST!

20 years later: Our children don't remember that day. Or they weren't alive that day. They do not have a memory of this nation being UNITED. Think about that for a minute. Our children have seen nothing but our collective hatred for each other. The America I remember growing up, they do not have. They have not experienced a UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

That breaks my heart! It makes me sad to realize that our children have yet to see what this country can really do when we stand United. Our strength, our courage, our resilience are staples of America when we come together. Where are those things now?

So I ask this again, what have we learned?

I appreciate everyone who reads this. Thank you!