When Gaming Helps Mental Health

We all have our own way of coping with life. No matter what gets thrown our way, small or large, we have different ways of coping. I have many different coping strategies for myself. Each one depends on the situation. Sometimes I have to write it out. Music has a way of helping me put my thoughts together. Sometimes watching a movie or TV show helps me just zone out and not think. Then there is gaming.

As I wrote in a recent post about grieving the loss of a child, it took me awhile to get those thoughts down. When it happened I was in shock. Then I had to be there for my son as the child lost was one of his closest friends.

But I was grieving too. As a parent, the loss of any child is devastating but when the child is someone close to the family and/or friends of someone close, it hits too close to home.

The first question that enters a lot of parents' minds, and I'm no exception, is "that could have been my child". That statement, that thought, is enough to send me into a downward spiral of depression, paranoia, and sleepless nights as my fears around losing my children is more than most parents. I'm not comparing other parents to myself tough. I wouldn't wish these thoughts and fears on any other parent as these thoughts literally invade every aspect of my daily life.

My children are my world. They are absolutely EVERYTHING to me. I have felt powerless in my life. I have had my power taken from me before I could even register there was power to be had. The thought that I couldn't protect my kids is really distressing to the point where I have nightmares.

Those nightmares can get to the point where I can't sleep. They cause paranoia in me to the point where I'm barricading my front door and all windows. Yes, it gets that bad. They are debilitating and can affect my daily functioning. This is where gaming comes in.

Yeah, I know, it took me awhile to get to the meat and potatoes of this post. Bare with me here. Games are a huge stress reliever for me. They help me escape for a few hours. They also help me process my own emotions. RPGs in particular, are a great way of dealing with my emotions.

When you play games like Mass Effect or Dragon Age - games that are deeply emotional and very story driven - the emotional aspect of those games really helps me deal with some real life emotions. For example, in Mass Effect 3, my fem-shep has an "adopted son". He is of another species and his name is Grunt. He is an adult and at one point in the third game, you think he is going to die. He literally runs into a hoard of enemies fully expecting not to make it out alive.

That scene gets me every damn time! Or In Destiny 2 when one of your favorite characters is unexpectedly killed and the fallout is hyper emotional because you know that character isn't coming back.

Just like real life.

These type of games allow me to feel the emotions in such a way that I can express them safely but also keep a little bit of a distance. Like In Dragon Age Origins when I play on my City Elf and my cousin is raped. I am free to feel the anger and rage I feel in a fantasy game that is also keeping me safe in the real world. I am able to deal with the loss of my family as the human Noble while feeling the anger at the betrayal of my sibling as a Noble Dwarf.

Games also help me escape though. Games like My Time at Portia/Sandrock are great farming type games to just not think about anything. They alleviate the anxiety I feel about even the possibility of losing my kids. The games are colorful and light hearted. No one is dying. Those games were a big help to me in the last month.

Or my latest obsession: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Who doesn't want to be a dragonborn, kicking ass and taking names?! Who doesn't want to be the hero, fighting dragons and taking down the bad guys?! This game, as well as most that are mentioned here, allow me to feel in control.

I have my power back and that is essential when dealing with something like death where it is really not in one's control.

Or games like Elder Scrolls Online or Swtor (Star Wars the Old Republic). Say what you will about MMOs. I, myself have a love/hate for them, when you want to just shoot the shit by shooting shit and killing enemies, those are some good games to do that with.

This is what Video Games do for me. They help me relieve stress, work out emotions, and just escape for while. They help me feel empowered and in control while my real world is very much NOT in control. This past month, they have been a huge help in dealing with the grief I have been feeling. They have also been a huge help in keeping that creeping depression that likes to slither into the brighter parts of my mind at bay.

And that thought, the one that comes to all parents' minds when the death of a child hits a bit too close to home, yeah that thought is kept at bay too. "That could have been my child" is a thought that I still can't think because it has hit too close to home. Video games have helped keep that awful thought from invading my mind and taking over.

Anyway, thank you for reading and for listening.