Dear Bioware (Why Mass Effect is So Special)

Dear Bioware

How do I start? How do I begin to describe my journey down this path that led me to fall in love with my favorite video game franchise? It all started in the Spring of 2008. I was 30 years old. I was a mother of 2. In fact, my youngest was about 15 months old. I am a mother of a child with Autism who needed a lot of advocacy back then as he was just beginning his educational journey.

I was also a college student, a wife, and I was suffering from a mental illness - PTSD. I had just started medication to help with my hyper anxiety, nightmares, flashbacks, etc. The meds were mild but they were effective for both positive and negative reasons.

There was so much going on and yet, somehow, I managed to get really bored one rainy Sunday afternoon when my then-husband introduced me to what would have such a huge impact on my life - right up there with Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, Bon Jovi, The Lost Boys, and Anne of Green Gables.

A rock band, a TV show, a book, a movie, and a video game. These were the things that either helped me survive my childhood and young adult years or helped me along my journey to healing in such a way that they will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart.

But let’s talk about Mass Effect. I was no stranger to video games when ME1 entered my life. I’ve been playing video games since the ’80s after all. From Pac-Man to Super Mario Brothers. From Street Fighter to Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines. And yes, I even played both Buffy games.

Maybe it was the time of my life that Mass Effect entered my stratosphere that matters. As I said, A LOT was going on. I had played RPGs where I could be a female character. Fable, the aforementioned Vampire the Masquerade, and several others. Mass Effect was different though. The character creator was much more specific. The back story was more personal. The back story alone hooked me. I could actually choose a survivor. For that is what I was.

My cannon Femshep: Vanguard, Earthborn, Lone Survivor. In my head, I could easily put myself in her shoes. She was a survivor and the best part about that was that she inspired me. She didn’t let her past define her. She picked herself up, dusted off the grime, and made something of herself. Choices I made as her, the best part.

She became a hero of an entire galaxy! And she is a redhead to boot! I couldn’t ask for more than that but still, Mass Effect delivered more than I ever expected.

Mass Effect gave me a whole team of outsiders and misfits. Aliens and humans showed me a world of acceptance even among disagreements and differences. The franchise stayed with me long into my journey of healing.

Whenever I needed inspiration and comfort, this game became my friend - alongside Buffy, Bon Jovi, Vampires, and Anne - it helped me not feel so alone. The sense of belonging and camaraderie Femshep and her crew give to me is priceless.

Mass Effect was the first game I started streaming on Twitch, a little over 3 years ago. Through that experience, I met others like me. Other players whom this game helped through some really rough times. Others who feel the same love for this game that I do. They each have their own relationship with the game, with their own Shepard. That is truly something special.

Even now, I know that when I stream the legendary edition next month, the first time I load up that game and hear that beautiful, heart-stopping music, I will probably cry (which in itself is actually somewhat of a miracle as I hate to cry in front of people).

Mass Effect 2 is my favorite game in the Shepard, er, ME trilogy. There is so much that goes into that story. Meeting Jack for one thing. Jack has a major stick up her ass but my Shepard understands where that stick comes from. As my Earthborn Femshep (and as myself), I look at Jack and think, that could have easily been me.

The game even tugs at my parental heartstrings with the Overlord DLC. Being a parent of a child on the spectrum, and seeing David being tortured, was so damned emotional for me. I couldn’t wait to get him to safety.

And Samara! A mother who had to take down one of her own children. As a mother, I understood her pain. The empathy I developed for her, there are no words.

Then there was Garrus and Thane. I romanced Kaiden in the first game but he pissed me off in the second. He basically called me a traitor and that still doesn’t sit well with me. Though I still love Kaiden, Garrus and Thane more than made up for it. Especially Garrus.

I call Garrus my space hubby now. He is just the best! I never thought I would be so attached to a fictional romance like that. Garrus just makes everything better. He is my ride-or-die!

Here is my video on YouTube that talks about my favorite romances:

But do you know what one of the best things about this game is? Self-discovery. Of course, I have had lots of therapy. Family support and other factors. I won’t give ALL the credit to the game. However, something I discovered along the way was acceptance. I mentioned this earlier but I didn’t really specify.

It’s not just acceptance among a group of fictional outsiders that I found. It’s not just the people I met during streaming this game that added to that acceptance. It was something more. Acceptance of myself. Forgiving myself and my flaws.

From growing up as an orphan on the streets to becoming the biggest hero in the galaxy, Femshep inspired me. She motivated me to keep going when I really struggled and questioned my own purpose in this world. She did for me, what Buffy did for me back in the ’90s: helped me recognize my own strengths and fortitude to keeping moving forward.

The characters Femshep meets along the way and the camaraderie developed with her crew was the absolute best! The connections made with other species, including the rachni. I am not a fan of spiders - space alien spider or otherwise - but I really connected with the rachni queen. Again, the mother in me drove me to help her and to keep supporting her.

There is so much more that I can say about this game but it’s hard to put into words all of the feelings associated with this beautiful, amazing game. I will say this: I wasn’t much of a sci-fi person before this game. Yeah, I watched Star Wars and Star Trek but they were casual.

Maybe it’s the part about being THE decision-maker. I was a part of this world and not just an observer of it. Maybe that’s what turned me toward Sci-fi. An epic sci-fi story, great gameplay (I do love the black widow sniper rifle), friendships made, and romances galore. This game has everything!

Thank you, Bioware! Just, thank you!

Michelle

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