The Heartbreak of a Child Lost (and the Downside of the Internet)

This is a hard post to write. I am writing this though because I feel helpless and I feel the strong need to spread awareness to as many parents, teachers, counselors, grandparents, and any adult who cares for a child, as possible.

Last week something dreadful happened. A young teenage boy lost his life. This boy was also a close friend of my teenage son. He has a pretty close-knit group of friends. These are kids he has been friends with since about the second grade. They are all now about to graduate from middle school and move onto High school.

Except for one...

As a parent, I am struggling with this. The loss of a child cuts deep. Deeper than any wound could ever go. My heart breaks for my son, who has lost a very dear friend. He is hurting but dealing. He puts on a brave face but then, what is a young teen to do with this reality?

He is still in a bit of shock. They all are. At this age, the loss of one their own age, let alone a close friend, well, how do you make sense of it? How does one so young process this?

My heart breaks for this boy's parents. Many times parents will say "I can't imagine what they must be going through." That's not the problem though is it? The fact of the matter is we CAN imagine it. Or, at least I can and it absolutely terrifies me. It cuts me to the core.

I don't know how many of you out there can empathize, or sympathize but this post is to help spread awareness of the dangers that our kids face today. With the internet. And no, this isn't a blame-the-internet post.

This is simply to help spread awareness to parents and other adults who work with or love the children in their lives. This is about coming together and learning about the things our kids deal with that we, ourselves didn't have to deal with and therefore some of us may not know.

You see, the cause of death of this fun-loving, funny, and smart young boy - Yes, I say smart because what I'm about to tell you has nothing to do with intelligence - We tend to go there but that's not what this is.

I digress.

He died as a result of lost oxygen to the brain. The lost oxygen to the brain is due to an incredibly dangerous internet challenge called "The Blackout Challenge". I'm telling you this because parents, guardians, teachers, loved ones: You Need To Know This! The parents have been trying to spread the awareness of this since it took their son.

It's only right that I try to do the same. I have a platform. I have this blog. I have a YouTube channel and I have Twitch. I have Twitter and Instagram, though how to use them for this matter I'm not entirely sure.

For us parents, we need to understand so many things regarding the internet. Even those of us who use the internet every day and know the dark side of it, we need to know. We need to understand and have more than just awareness of its existence.

We didn't grow up with the internet. I am at the tale end of Generation X and I never had internet in school. Not even during my first two semesters of Community College. In fact, I didn't use the internet until I met my ex-husband who introduced it to me at the age of 23.

It existed before I met him of course. I knew of it but didn't use it because I didn't trust it. My mother met her husband on AOL or some such but I definitely didn't trust it. My ex-husband taught me how to use the internet and what to watch out for. When I met him, he was a gamer (still is) and he played a game called Quake online with his friends.

I became a gamer eventually. And a blogger. Then a YouTuber and Twitch Streamer. I learned a lot about the internet both good and bad. When we became parents, we taught our children. We looked out for them online and taught them what to do and not to do on the internet.

We both even knew about these challenges that are mostly circulated throughout TikTok and we talked with our kids about them. There is so much to talk with our kids about online. Bullies, toxic people in general, trolls. Now those challenges. Luckily for me, neither of my sons care about TikTok or Snapchat. They don't have Twitter or Instagram. Not even Facebook.

But they do watch YouTube where they saw these challenges pop up in commentary videos. We talked about them because I saw them too. We had discussions about this side of the internet. For anyone who doesn't know, most commentators don't promote these things on YouTube, they simply report on them but as we all know, just the mere mention of these things can entice our children.

There is also immense peer pressure for young kids and teens that goes way beyond the school building these days. My son and I don't know what prompted his friend to participate in this challenge. What we think is that there is a strong possibility that he was pressured into it. Unfortunately, we just don't know. We probably never will.

That's neither here nor there though because the devastating reality is this child lost his life. We as adults in children's lives need to be aware and vigilant. We need to be willing to talk with our kids about these things.

Yes, it's uncomfortable. Parenting isn't always going to be fun as we all know. Sometimes we have to have these uncomfortable conversations even if our kids are unwilling to listen. Here's the thing though. It seems like they aren't listening to us but they are. The hear us even through the grunts and rolled eyes.

It is essential for us to talk with our kids. Even the little ones. This is their world now. The internet is a part of them and we have to adapt. The internet isn't going anywhere. We have to adjust our way of thinking so that we can continue to do our very best for our kids.

Communication is key here. And no, not just us talking AT our kids but talking TO them. Listening is a big part of this too. What we don't know or understand our kids can fill us in. Especially our teens. They know what's going on so let's ask them. Let's hear them and have a meaningful conversation with them.

The death of a child is not something I wish on anyone. I don't wish for any parent to go through this and that is why I feel this is so important. If I can reach even one parent with this awareness, then hopefully, that's one less child to be lost to these dangers. I really hope so. Let's not wait until it hits too close to home before we talk about it.

Thank you for reading!